You know you're an Army wife when.....




Author: Unknown

~You can unpack a house and have everything in place in 48 hours

~You string Constantina wire to keep the neighbor's kids out of your flower beds

~Your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do

~You've changed more oil and mowed more lawns than your husband because he's never there to do it himself

~You use a crook-neck flashlight with a red lens during power outages because it's the only one you can ever find in the house

~Your children say "hoo ah" or "roger that" instead of "ok"

~You know that it's normal to light shoe polish on fire and that the best way to spit-shine boots is with cotton balls

~Your husband does a route recon and takes a GPS for a trip to the mall

~You only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change

~You need a translator to talk to your civilian friends, only because they have no idea what DFAS, AER, TDY, ACS, NPD, PCS, and ETS mean

~You have a larger selection of curtains than Walmart does

~You can remember where you kept the Scotch tape in your last house, but unfortunately, not in this one

~You mark time in duty stations, not years

~You refer to friends not only by name but by the state that they live in

~You know that "back home" doesn't mean at the house you live in now

~You tear up when you hear "Proud to Be An American," even though you've heard it 50 times by now

~You know that a 2 month separation IS short, no matter what your civilian friends say

~You ALWAYS know when payday is and get ticked off if there are more than 2 weekends during that pay period

~You know better than to go to the PX or commissary between 11:30 and 13:00 unless it's a life or death emergency

~You show your military ID to the greeter at Walmart

~You know that any reference to "sand" or a "box" describes NTC at Ft. Irwin, not your kid's backyard toys

~You know that "Ft. Puke" is a completely accurate description of Ft. Polk

~You find yourself explaining your husband's LES to him

~You have enough camouflage in your house to wallpaper the White House

~You don't have to think about what time 21:30 is

~You've ever been referred to as "Household 6"

~You're the TC, not a backseat driver

~You start ripping open MREs and looking for the M&Ms when you run out of Halloween candy

~You can't remember the last time you saw a doctor who wasn't wearing BDUs

~You've ever had a pet named Scout, Ranger or Sergeant

~You stand for the National Anthem at a movie theatre

~The local dry cleaner knows you by your first name

~It only cost you $25 to have a child

~You find that a large number of your clothes and household items are olive drab or loam, even though you never planned it that way

~You pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies, even though you used to yell at your husband for doing the same thing

~You know what "pogey bait" is and which kinds everyone in your husband's platoon prefers

~You wish you could go to CIF to DX your old stuff like your husband can

~You've learned to sleep through the sounds of tanks, planes, helicopters and artillery simulators

~You give your kids a hand receipt when they take your Tupperware to school

~You can hate military life but be terrified to leave it all in the same breath

~You defend your lifestyle no matter how bad things get because you know there's no other life for you!